ESV: Philippians 4:13.

This is a wonderful feeling. That there is nothing to fear, nothing is impossible – that whatever happens, whatever tomorrow brings – I am not afraid. Not because I have any strength in myself to face such things. Rather because I know that He does.

³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
ESV: Romans Chapter 8

Death holds no fear, for Christians can’t die — only sleep rather deeply while their body rots/burns away — and that holds no fear when you know that an alarm clock has been set that wakes even those who sleep so deeply — a trumpet that none can ignore.

What then can tomorrow bring?

… “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
ESV: John 4:14.

So I can pour out from my heart never fearing that it might run dry because it is not my heart that is being poured from, not my love being drawn on, but rather the love of God which has no bounds.

Obviously the danger here is that though the spring never runs dry messed up broken people like me can’t have oceans flowing through us that fast as our time is finite and so is our desire to do so. However that is only where we are — not where we are going.

So: bring it. Come sunshine, come rain, come storm, come hurricane. Come good times, come bad times. Come death, come life, come good, come evil. Come beginnings and endings. Come despair, come persecution, beatings and prison. All those things and more besides hold no fear for God is more powerful than all of them and he does not change. They hold no fear for I know those who have faced them and come out praising. Those who have died, been beaten, raped, who sit on death row, who sweat locked in shipping containers in the noonday sun. They are only a couple of hops across the friendship graph and they face more than I ever expect to and they praise the God who remains faithful and gives them strength to carry on in the face of all of that.

So summary for those who are by now thoroughly confused: there is a hope in my heart stronger than life itself and a joy to which nothing compares. I have bad days, I have good days but joy does not depend on me (it depends on Him) and it is better than happiness. (the life of a Christian is a pretty awesome thing (this is not the same thing as being easy))

Apologies if this doesn’t make much sense. If you think me crazy then well, no change there then. ;-) It was on my heart and is one of the rather better things in there so count yourself lucky. :-)